Inestimable Love

She was sitting at her desk and talking to someone. She looked up to see who came in and she smiled at me. Suddenly everything vanished and I saw the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. When she smiled, the whole room was filled with bright sunshine. Butterflies flew around her, playfully caressing her long silky hair. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. My new friend who was introducing me to everyone in the office gently tapped on my shoulder.

I shook her hand as Sham introduced her to me. As he went on introducing everyone in the office, I kept on staring at Naaisha. Her voice was like serene music to my ears when she spoke and I sank into an ocean of unknown feelings as the day continued. I watched her whenever she passed by my table. The way she walked reminded me of the beautiful princesses described in the stories, graceful and feminine.

As the days continued we developed a friendship that didn’t satisfy my rebellious heart. We talked and joked around but I wanted more. I wanted to know everything there was to know about her. I wanted to be there when she wakes up in the morning, tuck her in and keep her warm at night. I wanted her to smile all the time and spread the sunshine which no one else seems to see, except me.

She gave me her mobile number after one month. From then on, every night before I slept she would receive a text from me, wishing her goodnight and she would be greeted by my text in the following morning as well. She refused to go out with me. Her reply was devastating. She was in love with someone else and she didn’t want a relationship at that time. I was heartbroken but still I continued my quest to conquer her heart.

One day she was standing in the tea room when I went there myself. As I reached to open the door, someone suddenly opened the door. I felt a bit dizzy for a moment because the door slammed into my face. I touched my head and winced in pain. There was a large bump on my head like a humongous coconut. She was apologizing over and over. I don’t know what was wrong with me but when I realized that it was my Naaisha who opened the door, I didn’t feel the pain or anything else. I just waved my hand casually and told her that it didn’t hurt at all. I was mesmerized by her beauty and forgot about everything else I guess. As I watched her race towards her section, I saw the butterflies flap their little wings even faster, trying to keep up with her. I loved her so much.

I would never forget how we celebrated her birthday on 20th June 2007. We took her to artificial beach for a treat and everyone attacked her with eggs including me. She laughed and begged us not to put her into the water. I just picked her up and ran towards the water. As I ran down the steps and reached the crystal clear water, my friends kept on cheering me as if I was running towards the finishing line of a marathon.

She landed in the water like little pebble, dropping from a distance. Her tiny slim body was like a fragile flower. I didn’t want to drop her into the water. Instead I wanted to run away with her, to a place that I only knew about. It would also be a place where I would keep her safe and comfortable. Once there, I would love her forever. This would be such a special and sacred place that no one else could ever come. These were the thoughts that haunted me for many days after the incident but there was little I could do.

A year went by, I begged her to be mine forever. I promised to take care of her and love her immensely. I yearned for her day and night. However her reply left me vulnerable and weak. But I never wanted to surrender. My heart kept on telling me that one day she would be lying on a hammock and I would be there next to her. I would be looking at her lovely face and when she smiled I would touch the little butterflies that teased her all the time. We will watch the sunset together, but I would gaze at her gorgeous face. I would guard her with my life and love her till my last breath. My heart kept on dreaming and believing that this would happen one day.

However she got a scholarship from Malaysia and was getting ready to leave. I was devastated and worried. She still hasn’t given me a positive answer. By then I have even stopped telling her that I loved her. I stopped sending text messages as well. I was depressed and my hope to make her mine was like chasing a rainbow. But I continued to bug her and that was something I could never restrain myself from. She didn’t even get annoyed by my actions and she seems to enjoy it. I never understood why she enjoyed my attention and then refused to be mine.

A few days before she left, she came to my section and wanted me to take her to lunch. I was so happy thinking that she has changed her mind after all. But as we ordered and waited in the restaurant, she explained that she enjoyed being single. She even advised me to date and find another girl. I wanted evaporate into thin air and disappear, I didn’t want to live at that precise moment but I smiled at her. I made her laugh knowing that I would never get to see her like this, sitting so close to me for a long time. Every time she giggled I saw those beautiful butterflies hovering over her head and gently sitting on her soft curls. I looked at her in amazement. My heart was over flowing with pure love and I wanted to reach out and kiss her lips but I knew it would spoil everything.

My whole world collapsed when she left for Malaysia. I was lost, like a wounded animal. I knew that she didn’t love me but seeing her gorgeous face every day was enough for me to live. But when she left there was nothing for me to live for. However as I met her online a couple of times I felt better. I know I’m helpless in front her, I beg her to be mine but I’m more determined now. I will love her till my last breath and wait for her with open arms in the hope that one day she would come running to me. I would be the happiest man to be alive for sure. I pray every day and night to Allah, asking and begging to make her mine. For there is no human being alive who would love her like me.

However my friends and people who cares about me advised me to forget her. According to them she was just using me and only wanted to enjoy my attention. Instead, a girl who loves me would help me forget her and I might as well be happy. But I have my doubts. Maybe when I feel loved and secure, I might be able to do so. But will I be happy without my Naai. Can I love someone else? May be some day I might, but not right now. With time I guess the wounds in my heart would heal and I might even learn to love someone else. I know that the chances are slim but I like to believe and dream that my one and only love, my Naaisha, would be mine someday.