New Year!

The old woman wiped the table with the sponge one last time and checked the kitchen. She was satisfied, I could tell by the toothless smile slowly spreading over her face. She switched off the lights and went inside.

Slowly I crawled out of my hiding place. Fresh water, yummy. I quickly drank water and signaled my family that it was safe. Everyone scuttled out and we started our feast. Humans are so dumb sometimes. They think that we come out of food, so they clean the floors and the tables before they leave the kitchen to keep us out. But we cockroaches love water and we cannot survive without it. The few drops of water that must have dropped from the sponge is enough to quench the thirst of our family of sixty nine roaches.

My wife Zoka found a grain of sugar under the table, lucky her I thought as I watched her lick it hungrily. 'Oh we are lucky daddy', my eldest son called when he found the goodies left in the dustbin. My kids raced each to the dustbin but they let the younger ones feed first. I watched them from a distance, teary eyed. I’m so happy and I believe I have done the right thing by migrating to Maldives.

I remember my life in Japan, we always lived in constant fear. Unlike the Maldivians they were not afraid of us. If a girl spotted us in Maldives, she would scream at the top of her voice and climb the nearest table or chair and continue her glass shattering scream. Of course a man would come to her rescue and kill or squash the more terrified cockroach. But the Japanese people like to eat us.

My trip to Maldives was difficult. I left behind my family who refused to join me. I spent about a month in a ship. Water was a rare commodity but I managed to get enough to survive. Since we roaches are omnivores, we could eat almost anything. If water wasn’t so scarce, a ship is not a bad place to live. You see the men in the ship didn’t even bother to get rid of us. We just scurry about without fear of being hit by a slipper. I met a cockroach who had lived all his life in that ship. He said he also got on the ship to travel, but since it was such a safe place to live he decided to stay. But sometimes it’s very difficult to get water. Well, I wanted to start a new life in a beautiful country, that’s why I ended up in Maldives.

As the hours ticked by my family retreated to our nests satiated for the moment. I think I heard a group of people shouting and then there were fireworks everywhere. The building started to shake violently and within minutes it collapsed. There was smoke everywhere and people were shouting and there were a series of explosions. I quickly looked around to see whether my kids were safe and crawled out to see what has happened. There was smoke everywhere and no buildings. Everything has collapsed.

After a month, the smoke did clear out and I got news from the other cockroaches. Humans have destroyed themselves. My great grandma used to say that and as a kid I thought that she was losing her mind with old age. How right she is. While they were celebrating the New Year, some of them drank too much and pressed a button that they were not suppose to press. Yes, the nuclear weapons were unleashed. When the Americans by accident pressed the button, Russians fired away in return. Indians, Chinese, Pakistanis and all the other countries who had nuclear weapons joined in thinking the world has gone into a war trying to protect themselves. Each of these countries had missiles aimed towards each and every single country that existed on the surface of the earth. So the crazy and happy New Year celebrations ended up in a war, destroying them forever.

As months passed by the smoke did clear out, we still have not come across any survivors. But we have met so many cockroaches from different parts of the world. It’s amazing how we have survived the time of the dinosaurs and the great big nuclear war. There are no plants or oceans yet, everything is destroyed but as it started raining the other day, we are hoping that the plants would grow back and we would have a safe and beautiful world to live, just for the cockroaches.